My intention today is: I investigate my feelings of hum-bug surrounding the holidays, particularly this holiday. I feel isolated and empty. I want to understand what this is and why I am experiencing this darkness. What can I learn?
My Art: (about 1/2 hour of painting and reflection)
My journal writing: (Remember this is all stream of conscious, just letting it flow)
Blue, black, brown flowers, dried up , almost ugly. Crying red bloody balloons being blown around. Some sort of beautiful blue scaly tail or body with those blue, black, brown flowers bursting from the skin. Dark blood pooled on bottom with another really ugly flower in it. OK! I Get IT! I am sad. I feel useless and uninterested in the old. AH! My eyes are drawn to the blue scaly skin, sort of like a wave of change, a movement flowing away from the old or previous. My picture shows a lot of energy and no place to focus it. No direction. But lots of chatter. Do I listen to the chatter, block it out or hum over it? If the chatter is supportive, OK listen, if it is not, nope. Remember, we all go through phases in our lives differently and we chronicle it our own way. Maybe these red bloody balloons are bringing special messages like carrier pigeons. Maybe that is why they are the most cheerfully colored of all. So, I find myself wanting to play music, maybe something holiday-ish? Let’s not push it! In any event, I feel much better. I feel better connected to my feelings which are not so dark and glum anymore.
Footnote: While doing this art, I was, at first, a bit glum, then as I started journaling, I began to feel connected, calm and much less sad. It was as though my sadness had been captured. I no longer had to walk around with it. The glumness was ‘caught’ on the paper. Free from the burden.